Cereal Update 2

In honor of the whopping four outs Josh Johnson managed to get in his last start,

I offer four thoughts on the past week:

1. The name of this site is appropriate for this year’s edition of the Killers.

Take a guess as to what these numbers represent:

.225

.184

.267

.211

The GPAs of certain members of the Auburn football team?

The results of Lindsay Lohan’s most recent Breathalyzer tests?

Nope, these numbers represent the on-base percentages of V-Mart, Big Donkey, Beltre and B.J. Upton.

To add insult to injury, on April 12, 2013, I think I may have had the most offensive, offensive day in fantasy baseball history.

         

Batting

Pos Edit Batters Opp Status

H/AB*

R

HR

RBI

SB

OBP

C Victor Martinez ^ @Oak L, 4-3

0/5

0

0

0

0

.000

1B Adam Dunn ^ @Cle L, 1-0

0/4

0

0

0

0

.000

2B Ben Zobrist x @Bos PPD

-/-

3B Adrian Beltre ^ @Sea L, 3-1

1/4

0

0

0

0

.250

SS Jimmy Rollins ^ @Mia W, 3-1

0/5

0

0

0

0

.000

OF Josh Hamilton ^ Hou L, 5-0

0/4

0

0

0

0

.000

OF B.J. Upton ^ @Was W, 6-4

0/4

0

0

1

0

.200

OF Ryan Braun ^ @StL L, 2-0

0/4

0

0

0

0

.000

Util Carl Crawford x @Ari L, 3-0

0/1

0

0

0

0

.000

Util Lance Berkman ^ @Sea L, 3-1

0/4

0

0

0

0

.000

TOTALS

1/35

0

0

1

0

.056

You know your night was bad when your best player was the one who was rained out.

2. At least my offense is getting chances to put up its embarrassing numbers. 150 games have been played and the Killers’ three RPs have had only two saves chances (one of which, of course, was blown).  As underwhelming as my RPs have  been, I would have been better off if my starting pitching hadn’t been given any chances at all. Look at the stats from two of this week’s starts:

Hamels: 5-2/3 IP with a 12.71 ERA and 2.29 WHIP and only two Ks

Josh Johnson: 1-1/3 IP with a 40.50 ERA and 6.75 WHIP

Last week I mentioned that my team ERA and WHIP were 4.20 and 1.30.  Those ratios have since blown up to 5.50 and 1.42.

3. I feel as though I should apologize to the Rays and Ben Zobrist. Obviously, certain cosmic forces must working against the Killers this season, so it was fitting that Zobrist got rung up on one of the worst called third strikes ever.

Speaking of Nathan, I’ve been a fan of his since he landed in the Twin Cities in what was once one of the game’s more lop-sided trades. We are not talking Bagpipes for Larry Anderson bad, but at one point the Twins ended up with a dominant closer (Nathan), an emerging ace (Fransico Liriano) and a serviceable number four/five with an awesome name (Boof Bosner) and SF only got one year out of baseball’s most despised player (A.J. Pierzynski).  I wonder if many teams would make that same trade now.  Anyway, congrats on save 300, Joe Nathan.

4. Enough with the bad news. I read a great article in the New York Times sport section (I think that was first) about Pat Neshek’s quest to collect autographs on all of the 792 cards that make up the 1985 Topps baseball set. As any collector from the ’80s will remember, the ’85 Topps set is a classic (’86 not so much-the most prized rookie card in that set belonged to Cecil Fielder).  Some of my personal favorites from the season include:

Puckett’s regular edition rookie

Clemens’ regular edition rookie

Gooden’s regular edition rookie (plus the added bonus of a Gooden Record Breaker)

Mark McGwire’s Team USA rookie (where are you now, Oddibe McDowell?)

The Nolan Ryan Record Breaker (many record breaker cards referenced obscure records, but this one is legit, it is for most career strikeouts (Cliff Johnson’s “Most Pinch-Hit Homeruns” RB does not carry the same cachet)).

The Strawberry Number 1 Draft Pick

Jeff Leonard’s All-Star card (the All-Star cards in this set contain some all-times greats (Brett, Ripken, Henderson, Winfield, Ozzie, Sandberg, Schmidt and Gwynn)). What is interesting about the All-Star subset is that the players designated as all-stars may not in fact have played in the previous season’s mid-summer classic, as was the case with Leonard in 1984. Leonard did ultimately play in two All-Star games (87 and 89).  Leonard really was an OG-rocking the backward mesh hat while mean-mugging the photographer.  Something about Leonard has inspired some great nicknames: One Flap Down, HacMan and one of my all-time favorites, Penitentiary Face.

Gary(?) Pettis’ rookie

What is great about this card is that the guy in it is not Gary Pettis, but rather is his younger brother.

The ’85 Topps set also contained some more minor rookie cards like Hershiser, Saberhagen, Eric Davis and Joe Dirt, I mean Dan Gladden (who scored the Series clinching run against the Braves in the bottom of the 10th of game 7 for the Twins in ’91).

Here is to memories, sweet memories.

Standings: 10th place (out of 10) with 26.5 points, 17.5 points behind ANSKY for 9th and 53.5 points behind Hackers for first.